10th Healing Ceremony

Today was my 10th healing ceremony. There were a couple of interesting synchronicities. First of all, both the shaman and I felt this was the last and final healing for this part of my journey. I'd finally climbed over that mountain. Secondly, we both got the same message from the spirits we journeyed with: that my life has not been screwed up because of everything that's happened to me. Everything is fine.

Because my annoyance and anger from the other day stemmed from nothing, the shaman theorized that the wounding came from before I was consciously aware. Perhaps trauma as an infant or even trauma passed down to me from my mother when I was a fetus in the womb. During his journey, however, the shaman found that neither was the case. Apparently an ancestor of mine experienced great trauma that was passed down through the generations.

Yeah, I know. Pretty hard to believe. My skeptical side was saying uh-huh, yeah right! But...I went along with it. I know the shaman believes with all of his being that this is true, so I am letting go and trusting the shaman as much as I can with this. My life did, after all, change tremendously since my healings with him began.

This time a year ago, I was miserable and depressed for no known reason.

Today, I am happier than I've been in decades. Even a bad day feel great in comparison to how I used to feel.

So, I for the next week or so I will observe how things go, keeping a watch for the irritation and anger that had been creeping up for the past couple months.

Of course, as is typical, after the healing I felt great. I stopped to get some dinner afterwards, and the sun shining in the shopping center parking lot seemed glorious. Everything looked beautiful, fresh, and new. I was reminded of when I came back from Peru--full of wonder and possibilities.

However, things took a slight turn when I went to a metaphysical shop on the way home. The vibe of people cursing (both customers and employees) turned me off, as well as the audible complaints of the cashier lamenting his childhood, his crappy parents, his complicated life... It just felt bad to be around all that. So I left.

I then went to the grocery store where I was easily annoyed by other shoppers. They were doing silly, inane things like getting in the way and making crinkly noises with the bags in the pastry aisle. So the irritable thoughts were still there, but I wasn't necessarily feeling irritated. I pretty much felt neutral. Perhaps I need a way to vent out these remaining negative thoughts. In the meantime, I'll be keeping watch....we shall see how this healing turns out.