There is an idea that only we can heal ourselves. I think that is a true but incomplete statement.
What does it really take to heal?
I don't think that we ever truly heal by our own selves. We read books, talk to therapists, use plant, medicines, go to healers. Sometimes we are healed by grace.
So, is healing a partnership then?
What is healing anyway?
We need to learn what healing is and how to do it. We need to be ready for healing. And then we need to actually take action. We need to make changes within ourselves and out.
But here is a strange thing I realized during my healing journey. We first need to be ready to face what needs to be faced. In other words, there is a prerequisite that our psyches be strong enough for healing in the first place.
For most of my life, I was held down by the shame of childhood sexual abuse. Its suffocating weight prevented me from being able to acknowledge what happened, let alone say it out loud to anyone else. Therefore, I never went to therapy for this issue. Doing so would have been traumatizing because I was not ready to face or talk about it.
Then, in 2012, I started using a life coach who made me feel validated, whole, and empowered. We coached on and off for several months, when one day, out of nowhere, I started to realize that I could look face the abuse squarely in the eye. I no longer felt held down by it. I no longer felt ashamed.
This seemed like a miracle to me! Somehow, through the healing power of being seen by my life coach, I had become larger than my abuse. My childhood abuse was not a topic of discussion for us; it had never come up during our sessions.
It was only after feeling more empowered as a person that I was able to face my childhood abuse and then heal from it. It was only then that I started to talk about it with people.
I believe that there are many layered and multifaceted aspects to healing. I see the body as a metaphor for emotional, mental, and spiritual healing. If one organ in the body is not functioning, then many other aspects of our health will suffer as well. Likewise, if there is one major component of our psyche lacking, then it will affect the healing of other aspects of ourselves.
Another example is the degree of wounding being dealt with. If someone has cut their finger, they can clean it and put a bandage on it. Maybe we could even learn to give ourselves stitches. In either case, we create the best circumstances available for the body to heal itself. However, if we've been shot in the stomach, we'll need the aid of an expert doctor. The doctor doesn't heal us, but does put us back together again in a way that we will survive. Without the doctor, our body would not be able to heal itself and we may die.
Yes, we need to take responsibility for our healing as much as possible. We make the choices and decisions and intentions for our lives. But there are many circumstances when we need to look outside of ourselves for healing. Healing has come in many forms, has lifted me up in ways that I could not have done myself: healers, spirits, soul retrievals, friends, nature, books, shamanic journeys... And, maybe I'm wrong, but this tells me that that there is no such thing as simply healing ourselves. We need help. That outside help is part of our healing. I believe there are many components to the blueprint that makes up the psyche's healing potential, both inside and out.
