Ascension is a bitch

I'm realizing that in order to fully be who I am, I'm going to have to move WAY beyond my comfort zone. I'll be coming out with my spiritual beliefs, so to speak, in order to market my coaching practice to clients on the psycho-spiritual healing path.

My heart is practically pleading with me to do this. I feel a sense of exhileration and freedom I've never felt before. I'm being guided and, really, there is no other choice. I can feel it.

How funny that once I made this decision, two things happened that created some painful shifting. I fell into a depression the past couple days and I am still recovering.

First an encounter with my estranged husband created some inner friction. I became so angry at the universe for allowing him to be shit on like this. It's ridiculously unfair. I explained to him that our break up was not about him. It was about me being on a spiritual path. A path that I have no choice but to be on, to be perfectly honest. The spirits have me. Everything exists solely to support this path from now on. It was the first time I said that to him, the first time I owned my path.

Second, I engaged with a skeptic. Argh, those skeptics with their snide comments and condescending attitudes. This is a huge trigger for me. I especially can't stand it when people say they are glad I "feel" like shamanism helped me, or that I "think" it helped.

I don't usually cuss much since getting back from Peru, but are you fucking kidding me? Shamanism saved my life.

It's like telling someone who had emergency surgery for appendicitis that you are glad they felt like it helped. "I'm glad you think having your appendice removed helped." Give me a break.

The funny thing is that i KNEW ahead of time that engaging with the skeptic was going to set something off, so I allowed it to happen. Some serious purging occurred as a result.

I feel a significant shift now.

I sense myself connecting on a higher level to...whatever it is that we connect to when we grow spiritually. Some kind of higher knowledge and source of inspiration I guess. I feel like I'm about to be on a wild ride. Hopefully the next roller coaster will be more fun.

Much love. xo