Imagine having a life so miserable, that you would do anything to be relieved of the suffering. Even die.
I feel like I have died and was given a second chance. I may as well live my life as if I had died. My life has a new sense of focus it never had before. Nothing else matters except my own sense of peace.
Now: Imagine being given a new chance at life, but no purpose. After everything that I have been through in the past seven months, I would rather die than not have a purpose on this earth. And at this point I will gladly die to the will of the universe, whatever it may be.
Soon I will be going for my eighth shamanic healing, and possibly a ninth healing soon after that. I still have issues that need to be healed: imprints, limiting beliefs, and fears that need to be removed.
I'm not depressed like before--just very sad and sorry for myself like something vital is missing in life. The ayahuasca healing has helped me to recognize when I'm falling below my healthy emotional set point. And when that happens, I pay attention like it is the most important thing in the world.
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