Gifts of the Heart

I am a true believer that the heart can be our most powerful healer. That when we focus on what we love, somehow that love gets reflected back to us.  We can follow what is in our hearts—be it a tiny glint or a deep longing—and be led to experiences that expand our lives and heal us in ways we didn’t realize could be possible.

It seems my entire life has been a lesson in following my heart. Learning to listen was relatively easy. Learning to trust has been even more difficult. But actually following through is where the real test has been. And the tests have been getting more and more challenging as the decades go by.

In 2012 I began to realize that something in me craved a deeper, more heart-centered livelihood and way of life. I wasn’t even sure what this way of life was supposed to be; I just knew things needed to be different.

I had been working as a librarian for the past five years and had finally gotten to a place of feeling secure with my career. In fact, following my heart had led me to work at this branch in the first place.  

While there were many aspects of librarianship that I enjoyed, it wasn’t in complete alignment with who I wanted to be. While weighing my options, I asked myself, “If there was one thing I could do before I died, something that reflected my one true passion in life, what would it be?” That is how I decided to get a master’s degree in transpersonal psychology and become a transformational life coach.

The idea seemed insane. I was terrified of telling people about it. I didn’t want to be judged. I was afraid people would think I wasn’t good enough.

The truth is, I was still unhappy with many aspects of my life. Who was I to help others create the life of their dreams when I hadn’t even gotten my own shit together? But something kept telling me that I would be ready when the time came.

And so I went against all logic and trusted in that unnamable something.

Following my heart in this situation led to some of the most terrifying decisions I ever made in my life. I quit my job--giving up the security of my full-time career--and moved to another state. At times it felt like I was facing death. I got panic attacks.

However, I knew that leaving my job and moving to another area was my only chance to know the truth of who I am. More than anything else in the world, I had to know what it was like to live a life aligned with my own authenticity.

Two years later, I can tell you that the risk has been worth everything.

The education I received was valuable. But the true heart-centered value of this decision is in the unexpected healing and growth that resulted.

Following my heart’s desires to pursue my passion led to other events and decisions that changed my life. For example, I listened to stories of spiritual experiences from my new like-minded friends, which in turn opened me up to what can be possible in life. Through my experiential studies, I had eye-opening experiences and gained an expanded view of the world. The culmination of all these experiences opened me up in ways that were emotionally healing and spiritually transforming.

Today, I am more fulfilled than I’ve ever been in my life. Not because I accomplished my initial goal of getting a master’s in transpersonal psychology, but because of the gifts that came with the journey. I have more friends than I have ever had in my life before. I am more at peace with myself and with the world around me. I am able to experience more beauty, joy, and appreciation. I am able to more confidently be who I am and speak my truth.

All of this manifested not because of one decision in particular, but because I allowed myself to be guided by the underlying intentions of my desires.

I believe that often times, we experience events in our lives because of the underlying gift it brings. I set out to get a degree and change careers. However, maybe the real reason for the experience was to obtain healing and wholeness.

We are endless chapters of growth. Our stories never end. It is beautiful, how the unexpected twists and turns transform us into something larger than we were ever able to imagine.

But we must follow our heart in order to allow this to unfold. The heart knows.

If we continue to live life according to what’s “right,” what “should” be done, or what is expected, we miss clandestine opportunities. Our heart holds the secret to opening up these hidden treasures. If we don’t follow our heart, we will never know the full potential of what our life could have become. We will never have the opportunity to know who we really are.