It's been two weeks since my husband moved out. I feel bad for my husband but am enjoying the solitude. The first thing I did was rearrange and clean the heck out of my apartment. It feels good to have my own space.
I'm still wrapping my head over what has happened. Besides my part-time job, I keep myself busy with spiritual practices, quiet contemplation, connection with friends, and my budding life coaching practice.
I think back over everything that has happened this summer--the shamanic healings, the crazy experiences that followed, the final BIG healing at the ayahuasca center in Peru, and then feeling so different after coming back and needing to be free of a relationship. I wonder if it is truly over.
I've come more to terms over what my life has been. But a part of me also feels ready to slip out of this world. On the one hand, I now know what it's like to experience this world's beauty and to feel the bliss of loving myself. But on the other hand, I know this world isn't the real thing, and how harsh it has been to me, and just want to connect with spirit.
I'm in some kind of limbo state--figuring out who I am and where my life is going. I have little to grasp onto. Who I was in my past life is gone. Who I am in my future is unknown. All I can do is be here in the moment.
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