The Power of Coaching

I had my first coaching session about 5 or 6 years ago and felt like I got more out of that than all of my therapy sessions combined. The difference was that the coaching sessions were focused purely on me and what I wanted to get out of the session (not what the therapist thought I needed). They were completely proactive and empowering, and left me feeling energized and enthusiastic about making changes in my life. Coaching also made me feel truly understood. Coaching isn't therapy, and it shouldn't be confused with therapy, but it can work wonders for self aware people who are capable of making changes in their lives. Especially if the coach has had mentor coaching, which trains coaches to see and work through their blind spots and refine their skills.

Healing from the ancestors

I've made it a habit to pay respect and connect with my ancestors each Sunday with a small altar on my dresser.

Today I noticed that my heart felt more open after doing this little ritual.

Perhaps it is just the result of feeling gratitude? Perhaps a healing from my helping ancestors?

Either way, I am feeling very appreciative right now. :)

The Cosmic Matrix

"Whether it be Lao Tzu, Chuang Tzu, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Raman Maharshi, Alan Watts, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Jesus, Krishna, Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, John Muir, Meister Eckhart and many others; none of them mention the chakras, or the kundalini, channeling, or any of these pseudo paths."

Read more...

The Catch 22 of Depression and Spiritual Connection

A new post from my blog When Depression Won't Heal:

There is a catch 22 to depression that most depressed people may not realize, but may need to realize in order to heal. It is that depression numbs our ability to spiritually connect. The problem is that we need spiritual connection in order to heal.

 When we are depressed, we become so heavy that it becomes impossible to feel freely, to be open, to sense wonder, to become inspired, to take creative action, or to connect to the richness of life. These are all aspects of being spiritually connected by the way. So it is important to realize that when we are depressed, it becomes incredibly easy to not believe in the divine or sense any spiritual resonance or feel spiritual connection whatsover.

To an almost unbelievable extent, I have witnessed this in my own healing journey. I've gone from feeling horribly depressed one minute, like there is no meaning in life and literally wishing that I could just die, to feeling an unmistakable connection to the divine after a good healing session. Suddenly, after a visit with an energy healer, I'd be at peace, with an inner well-being and knowledge that my life had great purpose in this world.

 I have also witnessed the opposite happen. Many times I have felt peacefully content and spiritually connected just to slip back down toward the blackness and void of depression again. Once there, I noticed the distinct lack of spiritual belief or desire for connection that I once had. I would continue with my spiritual practices, but they felt empty and uninspired. No matter how hard I tried, I could not "make myself" feel spiritual again.

For me, this was explicit proof that spirituality and healing go hand in hand.

The problem is that we can't force ourselves to feel spiritual connection when we are depressed, but we need this spiritual connection in order to heal completely. So how do we make this happen?

The answer is multifaceted, and the path is circular. There is no straight, one size fits all, solution to healing. Spirituality is a huge component, but we need to incorporate healing on all levels of our being: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So first of all, don't ignore the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of healing! A discussion about these other components of healing goes beyond the scope of this blog, but I will address it in future posts.

I will also talk more about how to cultivate spiritual connection while depressed in my next post, so stay tuned...

The Spiritual Root of Depression

This post is from a new blog I started called When Depression Won't Heal.

Spiritual Beings Living in Physical Form: The Root of Depression

I realize that many people will not agree with what I'm about to write, but what I convey comes from my direct experience, and it is something I feel compelled to share.

I believe we are depressed because we are not existing in our true home. We are spiritual beings who belong with the unconditional love and light of the Divine, but are instead living in physical form. This is like forcing a bird to wear scuba gear so it can live in the sea.

Could a bird learn to be happy living underwater? Perhaps. But inevitably some birds will realize that something does not feel right. Something will continue to gnaw at them, and unless they have some knowledge of who they truly are, and to live in ways that reflect their True Selves, peace will be hard to come by.

Spiritual beliefs and practices were always my core foundation for healing at a deeper soul level. But I always kept my spiritual beliefs at a safe level. I didn't want to (or wasn't able to) completely believe in anything that seemed too weird or new agey. Chakras, energy bodies, smudging, healing herbs, and crystals. These all seemed like silly and unrealistic new age ideas. Even more important, I didn't want other people to laugh at my strange spiritual beliefs.

But then when I was 41 I had my first energy healing. It blew me away. For the first time in my life, I felt like my thoughts and emotions were completely cleansed. This healing, as well as the soul retrieval I had two weeks later, literally blew my mind. This was followed by full blown spiritual experience that lasted a good two weeks.

Since then I have learned to sense my chakras and blocks in my energy system, use herbs for healing baths and smudges, and to be open to spiritual healing techniques and teachings. But most of all, I learned to strengthen my connection to the Divine in ways that I wasn't able to before.

This connection guides me and heals me. It helps me to realize who I Truly am and to envision a world that I wish to see, rather than trying to fit into a world that does not reflect who I am at my core.

I believe my depression has been a calling for me to come back Home. I have seen this in ayahuasca ceremonies, in my spiritual teachings, and can feel it in my heart and in the depths of my soul. It teaches me to let go of the things in this world and focus on love. My pain is caused by my attachment to being human, and all of the cultural, societal, familial, and personal expectations on what it means to be a special and deserving human being. These definitions of happiness say I need to look young, have a family, fulfill a special purpose in life, or whatever. When in reality, if I simply know my True Divine Self and just focus on love, there would be no need for that.

The answer is to know ourselves as Love. To love and forgive ourselves unconditionally. To envision a world where love across all ethnic, cultural, religious, and geographical boundaries is possible. To see the Divine in the people we meet. To know that the Divine is with us, supporting and guiding us in a multitude of ways.

I believe that the closer we get to doing this, the more we can heal.

We might need additional tools to help us through, including self help techniques, therapy, or energy healings. But if we keep up the practice of knowing ourselves and others as Divine Love, then we get closer to creating our True Home right where we are on earth. I believe this is the true path to healing.

P.S. As a side note, I no longer care what people thing about my spiritual beliefs, although I am still careful about who I express them to. In fact, I can now talk about guides, angels, crystals, and spiritual herbs so confidently that my friends, family, and even some co-workers, listen openly and without judgment!

Purpose

If you want to find your purpose in life, start envisioning the world as a better place.

And then go from there...

What heals us?

There is an idea that only we can heal ourselves. I think that is a true but incomplete statement.

What does it really take to heal?

I don't think that we ever truly heal by our own selves. We read books, talk to therapists, use plant, medicines, go to healers. Sometimes we are healed by grace.

So, is healing a partnership then?

What is healing anyway?

We need to learn what healing is and how to do it. We need to be ready for healing. And then we need to actually take action. We need to make changes within ourselves and out.

But here is a strange thing I realized during my healing journey. We first need to be ready to face what needs to be faced. In other words, there is a prerequisite that our psyches be strong enough for healing in the first place.

For most of my life, I was held down by the shame of childhood sexual abuse. Its suffocating weight prevented me from being able to acknowledge what happened, let alone say it out loud to anyone else. Therefore, I never went to therapy for this issue. Doing so would have been traumatizing because I was not ready to face or talk about it.

Then, in 2012, I started using a life coach who made me feel validated, whole, and empowered. We coached on and off for several months, when one day, out of nowhere, I started to realize that I could look face the abuse squarely in the eye. I no longer felt held down by it. I no longer felt ashamed.

This seemed like a miracle to me! Somehow, through the healing power of being seen by my life coach, I had become larger than my abuse. My childhood abuse was not a topic of discussion for us; it had never come up during our sessions.

It was only after feeling more empowered as a person that I was able to face my childhood abuse and then heal from it. It was only then that I started to talk about it with people.

I believe that there are many layered and multifaceted aspects to healing. I see the body as a metaphor for emotional, mental, and spiritual healing. If one organ in the body is not functioning, then many other aspects of our health will suffer as well. Likewise, if there is one major component of our psyche lacking, then it will affect the healing of other aspects of ourselves.

Another example is the degree of wounding being dealt with. If someone has cut their finger, they can clean it and put a bandage on it. Maybe we could even learn to give ourselves stitches. In either case, we create the best circumstances available for the body to heal itself. However, if we've been shot in the stomach, we'll need the aid of an expert doctor. The doctor doesn't heal us, but does put us back together again in a way that we will survive. Without the doctor, our body would not be able to heal itself and we may die.

Yes, we need to take responsibility for our healing as much as possible. We make the choices and decisions and intentions for our lives. But there are many circumstances when we need to look outside of ourselves for healing. Healing has come in many forms, has lifted me up in ways that I could not have done myself: healers, spirits, soul retrievals, friends, nature, books, shamanic journeys... And, maybe I'm wrong, but this tells me that that there is no such thing as simply healing ourselves. We need help. That outside help is part of our healing. I believe there are many components to the blueprint that makes up the psyche's healing potential, both inside and out.